The 5 Questions Most Feared by Men

had to post something!! so here goes a collection! a bit modified

The 5 Questions Most Feared by Men

1. What are you thinking about? 2. Do you love me? 3. Do I look fat in this? 4. Do you think she is prettier than me? 5. What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.

Question # 1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of course, is: " I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."
This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following: a. Football. b. Golf. c. How fat you are. d. How much prettier she is than you e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by some Shah, who once told some Remya, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!"

Question # 2: Do you love me? The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear."
Inappropriate responses include our style:
anarchist- Oh Yeah, shit-loads !
vineet- Would it make you feel better if I said yes? (and can have the wine now? atleast)
some sage in himalayas- That depends on what you mean by love.
tempester- Does it matter?(can v go to bed now?)
madcap - Who, me? yeah sure.. anything...


Question # 3: Do I look fat? The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!"
Incorrect answers are:
sage- Compared to what?
madcap- I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
portwine vineet- A little extra weight looks good on you.
shah o Blah- I've seen fatter.(been fatter!!)
anarchist- Sorry what did you say? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me? Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!"
Incorrect responses from us would include:
Port vin- Yes, but you have a better personality.
tempester- Not prettier, but definitely thinner .
anarchist- Not as pretty as you when you were her age.
sage- first of all - Define pretty!!


Question # 5: What would you do if I died? A definite no-win question.(The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Lotus and a Boat"). No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines: ( a case in point would be mr.madcap)
WOMAN: Would you get married again?
madcap: Definitely not! (Yeeeaaaaaah right!!)
WOMAN: Why not - don't you like being married?
madcap: Of course I do. ( other gals feel safe with me:-) !! )
WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
madcap: Okay, I'd get married again. (if u insist .. )
WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)(dam her for that!!)
madcap: (makes audible groan)
WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
madcap: Where else would we sleep? ( ive got ideas! - public train, my friends car, etc ) (we know him right?)
WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
madcap: That would seem like the proper thing to do. ( yeah with those hidden ones on the comp)
WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
madcap: She can't use them; she's left-handed. (oooooops!!)
WOMAN: - - - silence - - -
madcap: Sh&%.